A
BETH TIKVAH SYNAGOGUE AP. O. Box 1042
Westborough, Massachusetts
Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Policies Manual
Approved by the Board of Directors
December 1, 1999
Amended, March 1, 2000
B
ETH TIKVAH SYNAGOGUEBar/Bat Mitzvah Policies Manual
Approved by the Board of Directors December 1, 1999
Amended, March 1, 2000
A. Introduction
Welcome to a most exciting time in the life of a young congregant--being called to the Torah as a Bat or Bar Mitzvah. The Synagogue congratulates the family and the student for reaching this important point in education and age. We hope the policies that follow clearly delineate a framework for planning this important life cycle event, and that families find it a useful tool.
B. Philosophy
Beth Tikvah Synagogue is committed to providing a dignified and memorable service that meets the needs of the Bat/Bar Mitzvah student, the family and the entire Beth Tikvah community.
A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is primarily a religious event, conducted as part of our community's normal Shabbat morning services. It is a time of reflection for the student, who is about to experience the "rite of passage" from childhood to beginning adulthood. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah service itself is a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration for both family and community. It is an opportunity for the student to share his or her Jewish knowledge and help lead services. It is an important benchmark as it is a time of extending to a new generation Jewish religion, history, culture and values, thus ensuring continuity for the Jewish people.
Beth Tikvah Synagogue believes that the planning of a Bat or Bar Mitzvah should be a collaboration between the student, the family, the Rabbi, the tutor, and the Rituals Committee.
Beth Tikvah Synagogue wants each student to have a positive, significant Jewish experience. It is our goal that your child do as much as her/his own motivation, background and capabilities permit. The joy, happiness and pride of becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is its own reward.
C. Needs of the Community
As a Bar/Bat Mitzvah occurs during a regular Beth Tikvah service, it must be recognized that there are needs of both the family and the rest of the community. Certainly this service is special to the Bat/Bar Mitzvah family. However, services do not "belong" to anyone in particular, no matter how important the Simcha. Other members of the community may wish to say Kaddish, or a misheberach for the sick, or simply wish to pray. Additionally, we want to instill in our children a feeling of community; they are part of the whole Jewish people, and do not live only for themselves and their celebration. And finally, all are reminded that the congregation has developed certain traditions that encourage the participation of children and adults during services which the Synagogue would like to maintain whenever possible (such as the children singing "Adon Olam" at the conclusion of the service).
D. Criteria for Agreeing to Accept a Child for Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
Before the Rabbi, Ritual Committee, or any other official representative (paid or volunteer) of Beth Tikvah arranges or promises to arrange for a Bat/Bar Mitzvah to occur at a future Beth Tikvah service, or even for tutoring to begin toward that goal, certain criteria should be met:
1. The child's family must be full members of Beth Tikvah Synagogue and must be willing to meet its responsibilities of full membership, both financially and in other ways expected of full members (for example, participating in the rotation of Shabbat kiddush duties).
2. The child should be Jewish according to Conservative guidelines, including matrilineal descent or conversion. If there are questions in the mind of the parents, then the Rabbi will be available to advise the family, includingany appropriate measures that may be necessary to be taken prior to then Bar/Bat Mitzvah course of study.
3. In most cases, your child must have attended and/or satisfied the requirements of the Beth Tikvah Religious School, grades 3-7. Requirements include reaching a level of Hebrew reading competency prior to beginning Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutoring.
E. Criteria for Selecting Location for Beth Tikvah Services
1. Centrality of Location Convenient to Our Community-Services will be easy for our members and non-members to find and reach.
2. Adequate Room-Enough room for the expected number of persons at the service.
3. Aesthetics of Location-Privacy, quiet and the ability to create a Jewishly-aesthetic environment.
4. Food-Beverages-Wine-Able to bring items for a congregational kiddush for all those present at the service (see section on "Family Obligations").
The Rituals Committee has identified the WAJCC, The Unitarian-Universalist Society of Westborough, the Forbes Municipal Auditorium, the Westborough Senior Center, and the Westborough Wyndham as recommended locations for a service.
Location will be decided jointly by the Ritual Committee and the child’s family for each particular Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. If an agreement on the location cannot be reached among the parties, then the Executive Board of the Synagogue will be presented with the issues for a final decision. Ideally, the location will be decided within one month of assigning the date to the child.
F. Date Selection
1. Date - decided jointly by the Ritual Committee, Rabbi, and the child’s family.
2. Advanced Assignment of Date - Beth Tikvah Synagogue will strive to select dates 1 1/2 to 2 years in advance, preferably closer to 2 years.
3. Services are regularly scheduled on the first and third Shabbat of each month, and thus dates selected will usually coincide with that schedule.
4. An essential part of the Bat/Bar Mitzvah includes the student being called to the Torah. Therefore, the service usually will be Shabbat morning, as this is the service when the Torah is read in our Synagogue.
5. Male Date Selection - date must be after the Hebrew calendar date of the 13th birthday.
6. Female Date Selection - date may be anytime after the Hebrew calendar date of the 12th birthday; may be around the 13th birthday as well.
G. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Goals
Every Bar/Bat Mitzvah will be called to the Torah to say the blessings before and after the Torah reading as a minimum requirement. Other goals to be pursued are listed below. The selection of these other goals will be decided among Tutor, Rabbi, student and family as a result of an evaluation 8 months prior to the Bat/Bar Mitzvah service. These goals include the following:
1. Chanting from the Torah
2. Chanting the Haftarah
3. Delivering a D’var Torah (a discussion of the Torah portion)
4. Leading the congregation in parts of the Shabbat morning service
Upon the commencement of tutoring, regular attendance by both the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student and the family at Shabbat morning services is encouraged to ensure that everyone is familiar and comfortable with the sequence and style of services.
H. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Training
1. Tutoring - Every student will receive 6 months of tutoring, one session per week. This is excluding all vacations, especially summer vacation. Therefore, tutoring often needs to begin 8 or 9 months prior to the Bat or Bar Mitzvah.
2. Homework - It is recommended that each student spend 30 minutes per day, 3 days per week, preparing and practicing each week’s assignment from the tutor in order to make satisfactory progress and for maximum
retention.
3. Tutoring Fee - There is a standard per hour tutoring fee which will be charged to the family, much in the same way Religious School tuition is invoiced. The tutoring fee will be paid to the Synagogue, which will then pay the tutor.
4. Materials Fee - For specific materials needed for Bat/Bar Mitzvah studies.
5. Selection of Tutor - One of the benefits of membership is that Beth Tikvah will secure the tutor. In most cases, the Synagogue Rabbi will tutor each child. Other tutors may be employed pending approval from the Rabbi, in consultation with the student’s family.
6. Accommodations may be made for students with special needs. The level of accommodations will be decided upon between Rabbi, tutor, and family.
I. Family Participation
1. Aliyot will be reserved during the Torah service as follows: One for the child, and four for the family. The remaining three aliyot are traditionally reserved for the congregation, as this is a congregational service. In the event that the congregation does not require the use of one or more of the three reserved aliyot, they will be made available to family.
2. Non-Jewish Relatives - are encouraged to participate in a variety of honors on the Bima. Please discuss this with the Rabbi.
3. Additional Family Members - including siblings, are encouraged to be honored in other ways, i.e., open or close the Ark, dress the Torah, lead certain blessings, or do English and/or Hebrew readings from the Siddur.
Adult relatives are encouraged to chant Torah if so desired.
When you meet with the Rituals Committee, please have available the complete Hebrew names (for example, "Yitzhak ben Avraham v’Leah" or "Rachel bat Gershon v’Sara") and status (Kohen, Levi, or Israelite) of those to be honored for aliyot. For the family blessing, we also need the complete Hebrew names of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the mother and father, siblings, and living grandparents.
Please be sure that all those to be called to the Torah are able to recite the appropriate benedictions. A copy of the Torah Blessings is included in this packet and a tape recording of these Blessings is available upon request from the Synagogue. Beth Tikvah personnel will be delighted to assist you or any family members in learning to recite the blessings correctly. Please call the Rituals Chairperson.
A Bima protocol meeting will take place with the parents, Rabbi and/or Rituals Committee designee to "walk through" the service. You will be contacted several months prior to the event for this meeting.
A "Welcome to Beth Tikvah Synagogue" information card will be available for you to include with your invitation. This card will familiarize your guests with basic Synagogue practices and decorum. It has been our experience that non-Jewish guests, both adults and children, appreciate knowing that it is permissible to arrive for Shabbat morning services at 10:30 a.m.--in time for the Torah Service.
In the spirit of Shabbat, we remind you of the following:
1. Instrumental music, writing and smoking are not appropriate.
2. Use of the telephone is permissible only for emergencies.
3. Modest clothing for women with shoulders covered is requested in the sanctuary.
6. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah student is expected to also be dressed appropriately - boys are expected to wear a suit or jacket and tie; girls should be conservatively attired, such as a simple dress or pants suit.
J. Family Obligations
Families are required to stay current in all Synagogue financial obligations (including membership, tuitions, tutoring fees, special assessments, and Bar/Bat Mitzvah fees) in order to schedule a Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, schedule tutoring, start or continue such tutoring, or celebrate the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in the Synagogue.
A $250 deposit, which will be applied to all Bar/Bat Mitzvah fees and expenses, is required to secure date and location selection once chosen (please see sections "E" and "F" above). One-sixth of the remaining Bar/Bat Mitzvah fees are due each month for six months beginning 8 months before the scheduled date. Thus, the last payment of these fees is due two months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date.
It is the family’s responsibility to organize and meet the following obligations at their own expense:
1. Bima Flowers - It is customary for each family to order no more than
2. Kiddush - It is customary that the family sponsors at a minimum the "standard Beth Tikvah kiddush" for the entire congregation following Shabbat services which includes wine, grape juice, challah, beverages, pastries and all paper goods. All food served at Beth Tikvah Synagogue will be certified Kosher. Please consult with the Rabbi. The Synagogue will arrange kiddush set-up.
The Synagogue will organize the following details of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. All of the following expenses will be included the the Bat/Bar Mitzvah fee:
1. Tutoring Fee - Please see "H" above.
2. Materials Fee - Please see "H" above.
3. Rental Hall for Services - If different than WAJCC. Once the location is agreed upon (please see section "E" above), the Rituals Committee will make the arrangements to rent the facility.
4. Transporting Equipment and Set-Up (to locations other than WAJCC) Including ark, reading table, prayer books, etc. The Vice-President of Programming in consultation with the Rituals Committee will arrange for the transport only of Beth Tikvah materials needed for the service.
5. Clean-up and Maintenance Costs - If additional beyond rental fees; will
be included in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee.
6. Babysitting - At the family’s request, a baby sitter may be hired through the Synagogue. This will be added to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Fee.
K. Timeline of Activities
24 to 18 months before
- Select date and location. Payment of $250 deposit to secure date and location.12 months before - Arrange for tutor (including financial arrangements).
8 months before - Evaluation meeting with Rabbi to determine goal levels to achieve. Begin paying monthly Bar/Bat Mitzvah Fees.
8 to 6 months before - Begin tutoring; child and family encouraged to attend every available Shabbat service during this period; child expected to work 30 minutes 3 times weekly on preparations based upon weekly assignments from tutor.
2 months before - Meet with Rabbi; prepare D’var Torah (prepared talk on the Torah and/or Haftarah portions and their interpretation). All financial obligations to Synagogue have been completed by this date.
2 weeks before - Family and Bar/Bat Mitzvah student meet with Rituals Chair and/or Rabbi for run-through of service.
L. Staff Responsibilities
Rabbi
Preparation of D’var Torah (a thought of Torah); meeting with the family before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, tutoring or assigningof the tutor. Rehearsal of student and family for the Bima
Tutor Preparation for Bar/Bat Mitzvah; instruction of blessings before and after the Torah and Haftarah, the Haftarah itself, service participation preparation, etc.
Vice-Pres. of Facilities arrangement, rental, set-up, with
Programming consultation of the family.
Ritual Assignment of Aliyot, explanation of various aspects of Service
Committee and parental participation. Conducts Bima protocol meeting. You should contact Rituals chair if family members want to chant Torah at your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
M. Photography
Some families of Bar/Bat Mitzvah students may desire to have photographic recordings taken before, during, and/or after the service. This section is included in an effort to make photography possible at some level, while maintaining the desired sense of the sacredness of Shabbat and of the service.
This policy discusses photography for four segments of the day of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah: prior to Shabbat morning service, during the service, kiddush immediately after services, and the reception after the kiddush.
Prior to the service, still photos may be taken of the student with family, the Rabbi and Hazzan, sefer torah, and the ark. Taking of these photos must finish at least 30 minutes before the starting time of the service. Video pictures may also be taken at this time, but using the same camera as established on a tripod for use during the service at the approved location (see below).
During the service, still photography will not be permitted. Video photography will, however, be permitted from one tripod-mounted camera behind an enclosure/partition at an unobtrusive site within the sanctuary. The camera and other equipment will be set up at least 1 hour prior to starting time of the service, at a location approved by the Ritual Committee chairperson or his/her designee. The Ritual Committee will provide the enclosure/partition, and the family will provide for any photography equipment and personnel and inform personnel of this policy. No camera lighting is to be used--only available room lighting, and the camera must be unattended during services.
Kiddush at the Synagogue: No still photography or video photography.
Reception: Both still and video photography are a matter of personal choice.
N. Miscellaneous Suggestions:
0. In Conclusion:
We hope that this policies manual has answered most, if not all, of the family’s questions in planning a Bat or Bar Mitzvah. Please do not hesitate to call the Rabbi or Rituals Committee Chairperson if there are other questions or issues that arise.
Please also note that these policies are subject to revision at any time by a vote of the Beth Tikvah Board.
Attachments will follow: Prayers in Hebrew and transliteration; Bar and Bat Mitzvah Course of Study; Info about Mazon and Rachel’s Table; sample Bar or Bat Mitzvah programs; "Welcome to Beth Tikvah Synagogue" information card; Current fee schedule for rental halls, tutoring, materials fee, babysitting, transportation of equipment.
P. Glossary of Hebrew Terms in this Manual
Adon Olam
- "Lord of the Universe" a traditional hymn praising and adoring God.Aliya, Aliyot (pl.) - "Ascent, going up" - Term traditionally used when someone is called up to the reading desk during the Torah reading.
Ark - Vessel or cabinet that houses the Torah in front of the sanctuary.
Bar Mitzvah - Bar - (Aramaic) "Son (of)"; Mitzvah - "duty or commandment" - term used to mark the age of adulthood at age 13, as well as the event when a boy is called to the Torah to symbolize the attainment of adulthood.
Bat - "Daughter (of)".
Bat Mitzvah - Female equivalent of Bar Mitzvah.
Ben - "Son (of)".
Bima - "Stage" - the elevated platform in front of the sanctuary
where the ark and Torah are located.
Challah - Braided bread used during the Sabbath.
D’var Torah "Something from the Torah"-remarks interpreting the Torah portion
Haftarah - Supplementary and appropriate reading from Prophets, read after the Torah portion on Shabbat and other festivals.
Hebrew calendar - the Jewish calendar consists of 354 days of 12 months, each month 29 or 30 days, based on the lunar cycle. Seven out of 19 years are leap years, having both a first and a second month of Adar.
Kaddish - (Aramaic) "Holy" - prayer used to glorify the Holy Name, also recited for the death of immediate family relatives.
Kiddush - "sanctification" - blessing over wine during Shabbat and festivals. Also used to describe light refreshments served after saying kiddush following Shabbat morning services.
Kippah, kippot (pl.) - (also "yarmulke" in Yiddish) - skullcap worn by observant Jews; in Conservative congregations usually worn by all males during Synagogue functions, in studying Torah, festivals, Shabbat, etc. Optional for females to wear head coverings.
Kosher - "ritually proper" - refers to food prepared according to Jewish law.
Misheberach "he who blessed" - a prayer traditionally said for someone who is ill.
Shabbat - Hebrew for Sabbath, meaning "rest" - seventh day of the week. Considered among the most holy of almost any holiday during the year, it is a day of rest and a reminder of divine justice on earth.
Siddur - "order - of prayers" - daily prayer book, which follows a specific, traditional order of psalms, prayers and reading Torah.
Simcha - "joy" - refers to joyous life cycle event, such as weddings, brit, Bar or Bat Mitzvah, etc.
Tallit, tallitot (pl.) - prayer shawl, customary for men to wear during Shabbat services, optional for women.
Torah - "instruction, or guidance" - The five books of Moses. In the Synagogue, this refers to the rolled scroll containing the five books of Moses.
Torah service - The central part of the Shabbat (Saturday) morning service, where the Torah is brought out the ark, and a specified portion is chanted in Hebrew during the service.