Dear Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parent(s),

Congratulations upon the approaching Bar/Bat Mitzvah of your child. I know that this is a time of happiness, pride and hope for you and your family as your son or daughter reaches this milestone in his or her religious life. Our congregation is delighted to share in your joy as your youngster assumes the privileges and responsibilities of Jewish adulthood.

Experience has indicated that parents of our B'nai Mitzvah have many questions about this event and the preparations that precede it. Of course, the entire synagogue staff, lay leadership and I are always available to answer your questions, and to assist you in every way so that you may make your arrangements as easily and as perfectly as possible.

To answer some of the more frequently asked questions, it is my pleasure to present you with this listing of information, policies and procedures which reflects the decisions of the B'nai Mitzvah Committee, the Ritual Committee, the Financial Committee, the Board of Directors and the Sisterhood. Read it now; refer to it again and again. If anything is unclear or if any of the policies are of special concern to you, contact me or the Ritual Vice President.

Once again, Mazel Tov to your child and to you!

Sincerely,
Rabbi Howard Lifshitz
 
 

1. In order for a child to be eligible for Bar/Bat Mitzvah, a boy must be thirteen (13) years of age and a girl must be twelve (12) years of age. In accordance with United Synagogue policy children becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah are required to complete five years of religious school which meets 6 hours per week.

2. The Hazzan and staff will begin instruction approximately 10-12 months prior to the assigned date. If there is a situation which would suggest a longer period of instruction or require special attention, it is the parents' obligation to inform the Hazzan prior to that time.

3. Each student will be expected to master the blessings before and after the Torah reading, the blessings before and after the Haftarah reading, the blessing for the Tallit and the appropriate chanting of the Haftarah.

4. Students will complete the Thirteen Mitzvot Program which requires additional preparation stressing active involvement in the religious life of the Jewish community. Upon the successful completion of this program the student will receive a special certificate of recognition at his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah service.

5. During the year preceding the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, children are expected to attend at least six Saturday morning services at Beth Judea accompanied by their parents. These dates are to be chosen in advance and confirmed with the Hazzan.

6. Parents must sign up to usher for two services. (This is in addition to the six family services.)

7. The fees for the use of our facility and for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah are established by the Board of Directors and must be paid prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. A family must be current in all its financial obligations to Beth Judea prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

8. The fees for the Friday Night Oneg Shabbat and Saturday morning Kiddush are determined by our Sisterhood. A variety of options are available to meet your needs. Call the synagogue office to find out with whom you should speak for more information.

(a) Families with a Saturday morning service will sponsor the Kiddush following the service.

(b) Families with a Friday evening Bar/Bat Mitzvah will sponsor the Oneg Shabbat following the service.

(c) Families whose B'nai Mitzvah service is marked at other times in the week such as Saturday afternoon/evening, Sunday morning or weekday morning (Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc.) will sponsor the Oneg Shabbat on the preceding Friday night.

The date for your simcha will be determined approximately two years in advance. It will be confirmed by payment of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee deposit as fixed by the Board of Directors.

The education program for Bar/Bat Mitzvah actually begins when a child enters our religious school. Here children learn Hebrew and portions of the liturgy, are introduced to the study of Bible and Jewish history, are taught to embrace Judaism as a faith and a way of life.

Each child is encouraged to attend Shabbat services with regularity. This will help your child master synagogue skills and the liturgy.

The Hazzan and staff will begin weekly instruction approximately 10-12 months prior to the assigned date. Please contact the professional staff as soon as possible if there are any special circumstances you feel they should be aware of.

Each student will be expected to master the blessings before and after the Torah reading, the blessings before an after the Haftarah reading, the blessing for the Tallit and the appropriate chanting of the Haftarah. Once these requirements are met, the student may, at the Hazzan's discretion, also learn the Maftir and additional Torah portions as well as other sections of the service.

We expect that each student will proceed with his or her instruction with a serious and consistent effort. Parents should assist in this process by showing interest, by setting fixed periods of study, by consulting regularly with the Hazzan and by discussing any problems immediately and openly. Through family participation in Shabbat worship and concentration upon the spiritual meaning of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, parents will create an atmosphere conducive to celebrating the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in an appropriate and meaningful fashion.

Should there be a serious lack of progress in preparing for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah or an obvious lack of effort the Hazzan and the Rabbis will consult with the family regarding the selection of a different possibility for the celebration of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
 
 

The reception in honor of your child should demonstrate Jewish commitment and loyalty just as does the Bar/Bat Mitzvah itself. Therefore the meal held in conjunction with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah should be considered a true Seudat Mitzvah -- a meal that reflects the sanctity and observances of Judaism. This can be done by following the dietary laws of Kashrut so that this celebration will demonstrate the spirit and practice of Judaism which was proclaimed when your child was called to the Torah.

Congregation Beth Judea provides a fitting and beautiful setting in which to hold your Seudat Mitzvah on Shabbat, Saturday evening or Sunday. The Social Hall may be reserved by payment of a rental fee to the Congregation. Information about the use of Beth Judea can be obtained from our Executive Director. Kosher caterers meeting the standards set by Rabbi Lifshitz and the Board of Directors include:

Continental Caterers 355-1208

Kosher Gourmet 433-7051

The Professional Staff recognize the religious nature of both the ceremony and the celebratory meal which follow. Therefore they will officiate but will not attend a Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration which is not kosher or violates the Shabbat.
 
 

The Sisterhood has a complete line of invitations and accessories. They will be happy to assist you in selecting and ordering them.

If you wish to take pictures in the sanctuary prior to or after the Bar/Bat Mitzvah (not on Shabbat or Festivals) you must reserve the room by contacting the synagogue office. Only after having your request confirmed by the secretary will you be able to use the Sanctuary for taking photographs.

You must speak with the Rabbis and Hazzan directly regarding their availability for such sessions. Remember that other obligations often make it impossible for them to be present.

The synagogue has installed a videotape machine that runs on an automatic timer during Shabbat. You may obtain a tape of your service for $75.00. Please place your order with the Executive Director.
 
 

Seating requirements for the service must be given to the Rabbi's secretary no later than one week before the simcha.

Friday evening services begin at 8:15 p.m. and Saturday morning services begin at 9:30 am. The time for a Saturday afternoon/evening (mincha) service is set in consultation with Rabbi Lifshitz, but usually begins 1 ½ hours before sunset.

Aliyot

Shabbat Morning Service:

Single Bar/Bat Mitzvah will have six (6) Aliyot in addition to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child.

Double B'nai Mitzvah will have three (3) aliyot per family in addition to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child.
 

Mincha Service:

Bar/Bat Mitzvah will have three (3) aliyot in addition to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child.
 

Individuals receiving Aliyot must be able to recite the Hebrew blessings before and after the Torah reading. The list of honors and the Hebrew names of the child and his/her parent(s) should be given to the Rabbis prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah weekend.

Other honors are available including opening the Ark, and lifting and dressing the Torah.

When there are two families marking B’nai Mitzvah on Shabbat morning, this sheet must be completed and returned to the Rabbi one week prior to the celebration.

  I.  Ark Openings:  (one name per line)

      1.                                                                            

      2.                                                                            

      3.                                                                            

      4.                                                                           
 

 II. Torah Honors: There are three Torah honors for you to assign in addition to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. These individuals must be able to recite the blessings before and after the Torah reading. Please provide  Hebrew names and the Hebrew names of the mother and father of each individual called to the Torah.     (one name per line)
 

                               ENGLISH                                                   Hebrew names (such as Chaim ben Yosef)

1.                                                                                                                                                               

2.                                                                                                                                                               

3.                                                                                                                                                               

Your child                                                                                                                                                          
 
 

III.  Hagbah and Gelilah:  Please provide one person who will be able to participate in lifting and dressing the Torah scroll.

 1.                                                                            
 

Complete this form which lists the honors to be distributed during the service at which you child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah will be celebrated. Please return it to Rabbi Lifshitz one week prior to the simcha.
 

At the ark (one name per line)

1                                                                            

2                                                                             

3                                                                            

4                                                                            
 

Torah Aliyot    You may assign six honors, in addition to your child, to those you wish to give special recognition. All those called to the Torah must be able to recite the Hebrew blessings before and after the Torah portion is read. Please provide the Hebrew names of each individual called to the Torah. (The Hebrew name includes the names of the father and mother--such as Simcha bat Rueven ve-Malka)
 

                                                            English Names                             Hebrew names (such as Chaim ben Yosef)

 ALIYA 1                                                                                                                                                                

 ALIYA 2                                                                                                                                                               

 ALIYA 3                                                                                                                                                                

 ALIYA 4        Leave this one blank for congregation
 

 ALIYA 5                                                                                                                                                               

 ALIYA 6                                                                                                                                                              

 PARENTS ( Aliyah 7)                                                                                                                                                  

BAR/BAT MITZVAH                                                                                
 

TO LIFT THE TORAH (one person)                                                                                                Hagbah

TO DRESS THE TORAH (one person)                                                                                            Gelilah
 

At the ark (one name per line)

1.                                                                                 2.                                                                               

3.                                                                                 4.                                                                               
 
 
 

The following are honors which may be distributed during your child's Bar or Bat Mitzvah.  Please return this form to Rabbi Lifshitz one week prior to your simcha.

 To open the ark:     (one name per line)

 1.                                                                            

 2.                                                                            

 3.                                                                            

 4.                                                                                
 

                                                                   ENGLISH                                                   Hebrew names (such as Chaim ben Yosef)

First Aliyah                                                                                                                                                                       

Second Aliyah                                                                                                                                                                 

Parents                                                                                                                                                                            

Your Child                                                                                                                                                                       
 

To lift the Torah (Hagbah)                                                                            

To tie the Torah (Gelilah)                                                                              
 

Open the Ark, return Torah:   (one name per line)

 1.                                                                                  2.                                                                            

 3.                                                                                  4.                                                                            

 I  To open the Outer Ark doors  (one name per line)

     1.                                                                            

     2.                                                                            

     3.                                                                            

     4.                                                                            
 

II The Parents join the Bar/bat Mitzvah for the Shehecheyanu and Parents’ English prayer.
 

III  Child chants the blessings before and after the Haftara, the Haftara, and the speech (d’var torah).
 

IV Open the inner Ark doors for Aleinu  (one name per line)

     1.                                                                            

     2.                                                                            

     3.                                                                            

     4.                                                                            
 
 

In order to preserve the spirit of Shabbat, to enhance the decorum of our worship and to adhere to Jewish law, the following standards are brought to your attention. Please convey this information to your guests.

Refrain from talking or greeting friends and relatives during the service

Keeping in mind the religious nature of this occasion, appropriate dress is required

Packages of any kind should not be brought into the synagogue on Shabbat

Smoking is prohibited anywhere in the synagogue and on the grounds on Shabbat

The use of pay phones, photographic and/or recording equipment is prohibited anywhere on synagogue grounds. In an emergency, speak with one of the ushers for assistance

Cellular phones are not allowed in the sanctuary

Pagers, if required, must be set on vibrate only

Instrumental music is not permitted on the Sabbath and Festivals

All men , Jewish or gentile, who enter the synagogue are to wear a kippah as a traditional sign of respect

At all morning services Jewish males of Bar Mitzvah age are requested to wear a Tallit. Jewish women of Bat Mitzvah age are permitted to wear a Tallit at these services.

At all services Jewish men called to the bimah for an aliyah must wear a tallit

At all services Jewish women called to the bimah are to wear a head covering

Non-Jewish men and women may not be called to the bimah for any honor

Twinning
This is a unique experience whereby the Bar/Bat Mitzvah shares this special event with a Jewish child in the lands of the former Soviet Union by linking their two names. In this way, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah expresses solidarity with our brothers and sisters who are seeking to reconnect with Judaism and the Jewish community. Contact the Rabbis for more information.

Tzedakah
This is a major privilege and responsibility of Jewish citizenship. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah is encouraged to learn the meaning of Tzedakah by personally making a contribution to a worthy cause of his or her choice. Parents may set an example by doing the same thing in honor of this happy event. Donations to Mazon, the Ark, the Jewish United Fund and the synagogue are always appropriate.

Torah Renewal Project
An opportunity to have your child's name linked with the Sedra of his or her Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Contact the office for more information.

Gift of Israel
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Gift of Israel provides a way for the guests at your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah to give a meaningful gift, "the gift of Israel" to your child. In addition, the Jewish Federation's matching gift of up to $180 is an expression of the Jewish community's commitment to your child's Jewish enrichment. These funds go toward participation of your choice from among a very large number of approved Israel programs during high school or college. Please contact the synagogue office for further information.

Chain of Memory Project
The "Chain of Memory" project was established to allow a Bar/Bat Mitzvah child to remember one of the 1.5 million Jewish children who were murdered by the Nazis before being able to fulfill the mitzvah of learning Torah. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah dedicates the occasion to the memory of this child. This linkage symbolizes the importance of remembering the past as well as educating for the future. Your child will receive a certificate from the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum recognizing the importance of remembrance and of this mitzvah. Please contact the synagogue office for further information.
 

Other Projects
Keshet Israel Bonds

Continuing Education
The rituals that mark a youngster's Bar/Bat Mitzvah express the realization that this individual is beginning Jewish adulthood. Thus, this is an appropriate moment to emphasize the ongoing process of maturing Jewishly. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is to be encouraged to continue his or her Jewish education through involvement in our post B'nai Mitzvah programs, by participation in our Youth Group activities and by the observance of mitzvot. In this way the promise of this special day will be realized and the heritage of Judaism will be made meaningful to your child.

The congregation, clergy, staff and leadership of Beth Judea congratulate you upon your approaching simcha. If there is anything we can do to help you prepare for your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah, please contact us.

During the months between now and your soon-to-arrive Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Congregation Beth Judea has a program for monitoring synagogue service attendance. This is done for three reasons:
 

1. To familiarize your family with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience

2. To help your family become comfortable with our sanctuary, our prayer book, our Congregational melodies and service structure

3. To help your family feel a part of our synagogue community
 

Procedure:

1. Select any six (6) Shabbat morning dates between next week and the date of your Bar/Bat Mitzvah when you can attend services at Beth Judea. You may substitute a Shabbat evening, Sunday morning, etc. if there is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah scheduled for that service. Contact the Synagogue office if you need more information.

2. At least one parent is asked to attend with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student, since our purpose is to better prepare the entire family. Students are expected to sit with parent(s), not with friends, as the benefits are much greater in this fashion.

3. Record your chosen dates both on your home calendar and on the lines below including the two dates for ushering.. These dates will be recorded at the synagogue so that the ushers at each service will know to expect you. Let them know when you arrive.

4. Recognizing that circumstances such as sickness may cause the family to possibly miss a selected date, we allow one absence before scheduling make up dates.

If you have any problems or questions regarding this policy, you should direct them to the Ritual Vice President who may be reached through the synagogue office. Thank you for your cooperation and we look forward to sharing this wonderful time in the life of your child and your family.

Please sign and return this section to Hazzan Weisberg at the next lesson.
 

CHILD'S NAME ____________________                                        BAR/BAT MITZVAH DATE________________
 

PARENT SIGNATURE_____________________________
 

Service Dates:

1_____________________________ 4. _____________________________
 

2 _____________________________ 5. _____________________________
 

3 _____________________________ 6. _____________________________
 
 
 

Ushering Dates:

1. _____________________________ 2. _____________________________