Na’aseh – We Will Do
Early childhood education is about experience. So is Jewish life. From the very beginning, the Jewish people told God, Na’aseh v’nish'mah. We will do and then we will listen (or obey, or understand) Exodus 24:7. Interestingly, the pledge to act first and ask questions later is found in chapter 24, verse seven, or in modern terms, 24/7. This pledge applies all the time, every moment of our busy lives. It’s all about the experience. We know, of course, that this is true for young children. Young children are concrete learners. Babies learn by touching and exploring, especially with their mouths, which are very sensitive sensory organs. Toddlers learn by doing the same thing again and again, until they feel they have mastery (“You want to do that puzzle again? We just did it five times in a row.”). Children learn by diving into an experience, by dressing up and taking on the role. It’s one thing to show a child a picture of a plant in a book; it’s quite another, much more substantial thing, to put seeds in a baggie with a wet paper towel, or birdseed on a damp sponge, and watch them sprout.
Judaism calls us to action. Even more than emunah (belief) or study, we are called upon to do mitzvot, commandments. Our commitment to Judaism is more evident in our actions than in our words. To know Judaism is to act it, to live it. Until we try it, we will not understand how to live a Jewish life. We understand that this is true for children — it is unreasonable to expect a young child to understand something before he or she has experienced it. As adults, and especially as parents, it is also unreasonable to expect that we can understand things before we have experienced them.
My wedding was a very traditional Conservative affair. We had a groom’s tisch (study session), a bedeken (veiling) for the bride, our moms broke a plate for the t’na-im (engagement contract), men’s and women’s separate circles for dancing for the first extremely long dancing set (albeit on the same dance floor, with no physical separation), tons of shtick (dressing up, dancing, entertaining the bride and groom), the whole nine yards. We had friends who got married in a similar ceremony and reception a couple of months before we did. We arranged for my dad to attend that wedding, and so he got to experience what we were planning. My mom was unable to attend our friends’ wedding, and YouTube didn’t exist when we got married, so she was a nervous wreck approaching our affair, never having experienced most of the things we were planning. We do, and then we understand.
In order to understand Judaism, to live it fully and help our children live it fully, we must pledge to na’aseh v’nish-mah – do and then work to understand. We can read all the guides to making Shabbat (see the book suggestions for some good ones), but until we bake hallah (the frozen kind absolutely counts), we can not understand how the smell of Shabbat affects, and transforms, the entire Shabbat experience. Shabbat requires community. We can not understand, or fully appreciate or enjoy, Shabbat, until we share it with other families. This might require swallowing some pride, and asking someone at our synagogue or child’s preschool to set us up for Shabbat dinner with a family who regularly celebrates Shabbat. Or it might mean taking a stab at Shabbat dinner with other families who have read the same books as us and who have made the pledge to “do” together.
Other holidays, Jewish life cycle events and Jewish values deserve the same pledge. Get invited to someone’s sukkah. Let your kids see you carry a Torah for one of the Hakafot (parades) on Simhat Torah. Plant a tree on your property (or on the lawn of the synagogue, your child’s school playground, or a Habitat for Humanity house) on Tu B’Shevat. Ask, through your synagogue or child’s school, to attend the ceremony of a traditional wedding (and remain to watch the dancing when the bride and groom enter the reception). Crash a bris (the parents will be too tired to notice anyway). Bring a meal to the family whose bris you crashed. Let your kids help decorate the cookies for dessert. Set aside a portion of every paycheck for tzedakah in a special savings account (Judaism says 10%, but do what you can do) and once a year go through all the appeals you’ve received over the year and empty the account (my family likes the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend). Let your kids help choose some of the beneficiaries. Or better yet, let them fill their own Tzedakah box all year (with your spare change, of course, or if they get allowance, with part of their allowance) and decide where to send all that money.
Na’aseh v’nish-mah. If you want to teach your kids about the joys of being Jewish, then go and do. And once you are standing in a sukkah, and your child asks you why you use an etrog instead of a lemon, then you can go and find out. There’s probably even a YouTube video.
Book Recommendations
- A Day Apart: Shabbat at Home, by Noam Sachs Zion and Shawn Fields-Meyer, Jerusalem: Shalom Hartman Institute, 2004. A step-by-step guidebook with blessings and songs, rituals and reflections.
- Shabbat, 2nd Edition: The Family Guide to Preparing for and Welcoming the Sabbath (The Art of Jewish Living Series) Ron Wolfson, Jewish Lights Publishing, 2002. Bringing together all the spiritual and practical aspects of Shabbat, the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs and the University of Judaism offer today’s families the resources needed to celebrate this holy day—meaningfully, creatively, and joyously.
- 26 Big Things Small Hands Do by Coleen Paratore, Free Spirit Publishing, 2004. Paratore presents a number of ways in which children help every day, using their hands to feed fish, make music, plant gardens, recycle bottles and cans, etc.
- It's Challah Time! By Latifa Berry Kropf, Kar-Ben Publishing, 2002. Preschool boys and girls at a Jewish nursery school work together to prepare and bake challah.
- The Jewish Family Fun Book by Danielle Dardashti and Roni Sarig, Jewish Lights Publishing, 2002.
Maxine Segal Handelman is USCJ Consultant for Early Childhood Education.
