Two Minute Torah Podcast

Vayishlach 5768 by Rabbi Aaron Alexander

Shalom! This is Rabbi Aaron Alexander, Assistant Dean of the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at the American Jewish University in Los Angeles. I am honored to give a d'var Torah for Koach's extraordinary new podcast series, Two minutes of Torah.

This week's parashah, Va-Yishlach opens with the fear of confrontation. Yaakov Aveinu, Jacob, has left his father-in-law's house and is preparing to meet his old nemesis, his brother Esav. You can imagine that he is nervous, after all, when they last were in relationship with each other – Jacob stole his brother's birthright, and received his brothers blessing. Nervous is an understatement – he feared that his brother, a giant of a man – may kill him and his family. The text captured this fear in a fascinating way:

"Jacob was greatly frightened; in his anxiety..." (Genesis 32:8)

As good close readers of the text, we must ask, why two different words for fear? Couldn't the text have just stated once- Jacob was scared?

Rashi, quoting an ancient midrash, claims both verbs are needed- one to tell us Yaakov was scared he would be killed, and another to inform us he was afraid of murdering another. Yaakov aveinu--afraid of killing? Can this be true?

Being in meaningful relationship often means confrontation. In our lives this is often manifest in difficult conversations debates, and arguments. When we are confronted, or confront another- our hearts beat faster, we may sweat a little bit – and for good reason. Confrontation is uncomfortable. Nobody likes being told they are wrong, or that they made a mistake. Telling others when we are upset or hurt often comes out jumbled and we are unable to communicate our feelings –frustrating us even further.

The Torah, by doubling its use of verbs in this verse – teaches us a valuable lesson – being nervous about confrontation is natural, and often unavoidable – but we can still come out of those tense situation without regretting something we may have said – or without being angered by what we may have heard. The answer is humility – the humility that we are not always in control – and need to take a step back – a deep breath – and the humility to know that those with whom we are in relationship with may feel the same way. Shabbat Shalom.