Would You Ever Befriend Them?

By Ira J. Dounn
University of Chicago

What do you think when you see a female wearing a hijaab (the modest dress of a Muslim woman – often a head scarf that covers the hair) or a male with a darker complexion and maybe a beard? Do they intimidate you? Do you know the meaning of a hijaab, why she wears it, or what its significance is to her? Do you prejudge them? Would you ever befriend them?

Last year, with the help and encouragement of Alison Boden, the Dean of Rockefeller Chapel (of religious life) at the University of Chicago, Javeria Qureshi, a then fourth-year Muslim biology concentrator at the U of C and I created the Jewish-Muslim Dialogue Group (JMD). This is the JMD’s 3^rd quarter (the rough equivalent of one-and-a-half semesters), meeting once a week to discuss topics especially pertinent to Jews and Muslims. These topics deal with theological issues most often and political issues less often. Past topics have included: "Homosexuality in Judaism and Islam," "World Populations of Jews and Muslims: How Does Culture Affect Religion?" and "The Importance of Jerusalem in Judaism and Islam," and "How do I Relate to the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict?"

In light of Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad’s anti-Semitic statements in October, in light of increased stigmatization of Muslim people in the USA, in light of the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict and the polarization that it has engendered, and in light of the fact that Jews and Muslims have never had a formal arena to learn about each other at the University of Chicago, we have formed a group that attempts to break through stereotypes, prejudices, and ignorance by trying to understand the Other, in this case the Jew or Muslim, as a fellow human being.

So how do we do it? When people come together with an open mind and a keen curiosity, the hardest parts are achieved. And we’ve had some pretty remarkable results: Besheer, the JMD’s co-coordinator for the last two quarters and a regular attendee from the start, prayed one of the five daily Muslim prayers in my apartment last spring (he was at my apartment and it was time to pray – it happened spontaneously). Dan, a Jewish member of the JMD, had Besheer, his wife Sacari, and Yousef (Sacari and Yousef are both regular members of the JMD since its inception) over to his home for a Passover Seder. Besheer, Sacari, and Mohanad, a Palestinian Muslim and member of the JMD last year, once attended Friday night services (Orthodox) and ate dinner at our Hillel with the Jewish community on campus.

We have also had our problems. Discussions concerning the Israeli-Palestinian conflict often get heated, especially when the diversity of the attendees’ political opinions is broad and nuanced. Jews and Muslims alike have been offended at our meetings. Dialogue is difficult – it requires, among other things, patience, listening, and ground rules, so that respect and civility pervade the interaction.

So what have I gained from the JMD? What are the benefits of engaging in interfaith dialogue? For me, the JMD has made it much more comfortable to interact with Muslim students. It has awoken in me a respect for Islam that the JMD members have taught us (as in Judaism, there is not only one version), and this knowledge has deepened my understanding of and respect for the people in our group who adhere to Islam. I have learned a great deal about Judaism from other Jews who have explained aspects of Judaism of which I had no previous knowledge. Furthermore, members will often ask for an explanation of a concept or ask a "why" question at our discussions. When nobody can answer this "why" question, it suddenly becomes necessary to do some extra homework to be able to answer it. What’s more, the act of explanation ushers for the explainer a more thorough understanding of what is being explained, and it may lead to other interesting topics to research. The JMD serves not only to edify Jews about Muslims, and Muslims about Jews; it also serves to teach Jews and Muslims about their own religion and how and why people within their own religion vary in practice, belief, and interpretation.

Personally, the most valuable benefit that I’ve gained from the JMD has been the new friends that I, in all likelihood, would never have met, let alone made, had the JMD not existed. I can now say that I would not only befriend a female who wears a hijaab – I am friends with females who wear a hijaab.

[Posted 11/25/03]