How Do You Decide?

By Alyssa Appelman
University of Missouri - Columbia
KOC Editor

We had a hard time finding writers for this month’s issue. While it’s not always particularly easy, we have honed a fairly efficient system that allows passionate and talented writers to share their thoughts with all of you. Sometimes it’s a loyal reader, who has been waiting for that particular theme to surface. KOACH interns often pass the word along to students on their campuses. And it usually takes just a quick e-mail to our contacts at various colleges and universities to find the perfect writer to express viewpoints on any given issue.

But this month hasn’t been quite so simple. I don’t blame that on lack of readership, inaction from KOACH interns and certainly not on our lack of effort. And while I myself complain about schoolwork a lot, I don’t think it’s because the end of the semester has rendered potential writers too busy to contribute.

Instead, I think it has to do with the theme itself: Assimilation. We’ve heard the term thrown around for years, but for some reason it’s still sort of a taboo topic among Jews and especially, in my opinion, among younger Jews. And I think that’s because of fear.

Because we have yet to establish ourselves in the community and lay down roots, I think we are more conscious of how the choices we make will affect us down the road. Now that we’re away from home, we’re making more decisions on our own. Should we go to Hillel on Friday night? Should we skip it and go to that party instead? And does that upcoming test take precedence over the Israeli movie night? What about non-Jewish groups and organizations? How do we divide our time between the seemingly endless possibilities that college life offers?

And I think we’re afraid – afraid of what the answers to those questions say about our commitment to the Jewish community. Just because we make certain choices, does that mean we’ve officially assimilated? Have we really lost our Jewish identity just because we miss services one week?

I think we’ve confused the term "assimilation" with the term "integration." We integrate into our society by taking advantages of the opportunities that our youth provides us. Just because we’ve integrated and built strong connections to different causes, have we really lost our foundation and our core?

Maybe people found it hard to write about assimilation because they feared that they would expose their diminishing commitment to the Jewish community. They didn’t want to share their thoughts, because they thought it would reveal their own assimilation. But if you really think it through, I don’t think that’s what we should focus on.

I think we’ve just gotten to the stage in our lives where we are beginning to make and justify our own decisions. We shouldn’t ignore the consequences and ramifications of our choices, but I think it’s also important to cut ourselves a little slack. Being Jewish and maintaining that identity doesn’t have to come at the expense of other forms of personal growth and development.

Life is all about choices. We think about the choices we have to make, we weigh pros and cons and then we make our decisions. But then comes the hard part: reflecting on and justifying our choices and deciding whether or not we came to the right conclusion.

And if anything, I think we should be more focused on that reflection than on our general fear of assimilation. It’s not the actual choices but that process of decision-making that’s going to define the rest of our lives. In fact, I think our commitment to the Jewish community will actually be stronger once we can see other communities function.

Once we figure out how to live with our choices, I think we’ll be more secure with ourselves and, in turn, more secure in our faith and devotion. So it’s really those conversations we have with ourselves that will secure our Jewish identity. By facing these choices and conflicts, we will actually grow and become a stronger Jewish community as a result.

[Posted 11/19/06]