The Month of Kiss-Lev

By Rabbi Elyse Winick
KOACH Assistant Director
United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism

"See, Ema, Kiss-Lev. Kiss-Heart. That’s why it’s the month about love!"

"Wow," I reply. "That’s so cool." I’m smiling. She’s the third of three children to make this miraculous discovery. Of course, Kislev is not a compound word and if you break down its spelling in Hebrew, neither heart nor kiss appear. I’ll correct her, of course, in a year or two or three when it will matter. But for now, she (like her brother and sister before her) is reveling in the cleverness of the Hebrew calendar.

The reality, though, is that Judaism seems far too practical for romance. The document which marks the union of husband and wife, the ketubbah, says nothing about love. It is a business transaction, specifying the dowry and the bride’s entitlements in the marriage. We have a Jewish "Sadie Hawkin’s Day" (14 Av), in which young women traditionally dressed in white and went out in the fields to find a mate. Yet that seems more about building the future than it is about love (though I must say, it’s a far cry better than imposing a romantic motif on a day which marks a massacre).

There is kissing in the Bible. The word neshikah and its variant verb form appear some 32 times. But with rare exception, this kiss is a mark of familial love or a sign of cooperation and respect. Jacob kisses Isaac when he is receiving Esau’s blessing (Gen. 27:27). He kisses Rachel when she arrives at his tent, a welcome because she is his cousin (Gen. 29:11 -- Etz Hayim points out that this is the only biblical instance where a man kisses a woman who is not his wife.) In none of the biblical cases is a kiss a mark of anything different.

Except. Shir HaShirim 1:2 reads: Yishakeni mineshikot pihu, ki tovim dodekha miyayin.Kiss me from the kisses of your lips, for your love is more delightful than wine. Wow. Even if you choose to interpret Song of Songs as love poetry between God and Israel, this is one intense connection.

Think Gustav Klimt’s "The Kiss" (www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/klimt/kiss/) and Robert Doisneau’s famed black and white image "The Kiss on The Sidewalk" (http://www.ackland.org/art/exhibitions/seasonsofparis/lebaiserdutrattoir.html). Think of the poetic and grammatical similarities between l'nashek (to kiss) and  l'hashkot (to water). A futile attempt to quench an unquenchable thirst. A touch so fulfilling and yet so filled with yearning. Think of the point at which two infinites meet, the distant horizon where sky and earth touch. Edges blurred. Unclear where one begins and the other ends.

This is the definition the kabbalists gave to the even shtiyah, the foundation stone which marked the connecting point between heaven and earth. This stone sat at the entrance to the Garden of Eden. It was the place where Abraham offered up Isaac. It is the heart of Mount Moriah. It is the place where nashkei ar'a v'rakia ahad'dei, where heaven and earth kiss. The point of ultimate connection.

The kiss. There in our very own tradition, that moment when two people become lost in one another. Where time stops and the world stands still. Breathtaking.

It’s true, the tradition has much to say about sexuality. And those pages are meant to be turned, at the right and appropriate time. For right now, though, this kiss can be enough.

May your Kislev be filled with timeless moments.

[Posted 11/10/04]