Shifting Paradigms

By Jennifer Gorden
Northeastern University

Although technically throughout my childhood I was considered a minority, I never thought of myself as one. Since I was two, I participated in Jewish activities. It started with Jewish pre-school, followed by Hebrew school, Jewish overnight camp, and then USY. Growing up in Westborough, Massachusetts, there were a number of Jewish people in my town. Throughout my life I was constantly surrounded by Jewish people, and my best friends were all Jewish. It is an amazing feeling and a comfort to have your best friends share the same values and outlook as you do. We all have this common love for Judaism. My friends and I always joke about how we share a bond unlike anyone else, and it cannot be fully understood unless you are Jewish.

Everything changed when I came to college. When I looked at colleges, I wanted a school with both a Hillel and a Jewish population. To my surprise, at orientation I met two amazing people who both happened to be Jewish. We all hit it off and today (two and a half years later), she is my best friend and he is my boyfriend. I had extremely high hopes for Northeastern and furthering my journey with Judaism. September rolled around and the three of us headed off to a Hillel event. Sadly, our experience was not what we expected. To this day we still talk about how we wish Hillel was different at Northeastern. There is no doubt Hillel may have changed and may in fact be a great place, but with all the activities I'm now involved in, it's hard to find time in my busy schedule.

Luckily, I do have a great number of Jewish friends at school. One thing about college that caught me off guard was when girls in my dorm told me they had never met a Jewish person before. I always knew that Jewish people were a minority, but because Jewish people had been such a huge part of my life, that never really hit me until college. It didn't make sense to me that they had never seen a Jewish person, or that in their heads they had expected someone completely different from themselves. I didn't understand how they could have this skewed image of 'us.' To their surprise, I did not fit the stereotypes they had heard; I was not some alien creature. I was a human being just like them and we had similar interests. Regardless, these people do have Jewish stereotypes implanted in their head, and from time to time love to bring them up. Often it seems to be the boys more than the girls who make these comments. The cheap stereotype is probably the most common. Some of my Jewish friends don't seem to mind being constantly nagged or picked on, but it really bothers me. This could stem from the fact that my whole life I felt l was part of the majority solely because of the people with whom I surrounded myself. It also could be that I am just so proud and happy to be Jewish that I am easily offended. No matter what the reason, it is not okay and really upsets me. My boyfriend tries to act like it doesn't bother him, but I know deep down it does. I also know that he doesn't know how to bring it up with his friends, and while sometimes he cracks and gets angry at them, they see it as a joke. I know it bothers my best friend as well, but she isn't willing to pick a fight with the guys. These people also poke fun at other minorities who often stay quiet as well.

After all of these years of being part of the minority, it still doesn't make sense to me that people view us as different. Jewish people are the same as everyone else; they just have slightly different beliefs. To this day when I interact with some people it still shocks me how naïve they can be. I am lucky to still have a close connection to my Jewish friends at home and school, and to be a dating a 'nice Jewish boy,' as my parents like to say.

Jennifer Gorden is a junior majoring in journalism at Northeastern University.

[Posted 2/23/09]